sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Randomize
