how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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