I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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