And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
