i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
