Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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