Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
