I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
