My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
