so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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