he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
