I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
