Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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