He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
