Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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