I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
