Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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