I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Someone stole a lamp last night.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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