she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
