Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Randomize
