i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
