Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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