at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
If I had your ass I would rule the world
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
