I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Someone came in the potted fern
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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