I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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