I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
