oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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