I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
And the cops told us we were all naked.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
