I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
