I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
