Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
