I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
