All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
