Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
