the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
