she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
