all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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