it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
he's single and there are thong briefs.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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