I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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