He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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