I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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