can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
