it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
