They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
