she woke up with a sticky ear
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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