so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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