Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Found your dick twin last night
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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