did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
