last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
