Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
