The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
