I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
