They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
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all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
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She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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