ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
