I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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