I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize