Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
