So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize