break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
