I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
