Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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