I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
it glows. i had to have it.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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