Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
