Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
