return my video game
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
