I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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