is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
