i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
