took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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