Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
