dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
